In the land of liberty and justice for all, one might expect our federal agencies to be adept at safeguarding our skies, especially when mysterious drones start buzzing over New Jersey. Yet, here we are, with the FBI seemingly baffled by these nocturnal visitors while they probably have a detailed dossier on what Elon Musk had for breakfast and the exact shade of Melania Trump’s negligee. It’s a scenario so absurd it might be humorous if it weren’t so concerning.
Over the past few weeks, New Jersey has been the stage for an unexplained aerial ballet, with drones of various sizes and capabilities reportedly flying over sensitive areas including military installations and President-elect Donald Trump’s Bedminster golf course. The response from the FBI has been less than stellar. They’ve admitted they are “doing all we can figure out what’s going on,” but their efforts appear to be as effective as trying to catch a fly with chopsticks. Despite thousands of tips from the public, the origin of these drones remains a mystery, with officials not ruling out nefarious motives but also not offering any substantial leads or actions taken against this potential threat.

Contrast this with the agency’s apparent zeal for collecting minute details about public figures. It’s not a stretch to imagine that the FBI might have an extensive file on what Elon Musk ate at 7 AM, given their track record of surveilling high-profile individuals. Musk, known for his outspoken nature and significant influence, is likely a person of interest for many reasons, not the least of which is his involvement with technologies that could challenge government control over information and security, like his satellite internet service Starlink.
Then there’s the matter of Melania Trump’s personal choices in attire.
While the security of national infrastructure is at stake, one can’t help but satirize the possibility that the FBI might be more clued in on the color palette of her private wardrobe than they are on the drones potentially probing our defenses. This isn’t just about an invasion of privacy; it’s about an egregious misallocation of focus and resources.

The situation in New Jersey isn’t just a local issue; it’s a national security conundrum. When lawmakers like Congressman Tony Gonzales express disbelief at the FBI’s lack of answers, it’s a signal that something is profoundly amiss. The FBI’s inability to provide clarity or action on these drones while potentially having intimate details on the personal lives of influential figures speaks volumes about where their priorities lie.
It’s high time for the FBI to redirect its focus from the breakfast plates and bedroom drawers of America’s elite to real threats that hover in our skies. The American public deserves an agency that’s not only vigilant but also effective in its primary mandate—protecting the nation’s security. If they can track down what color threads make up a negligee, surely they can muster the same energy to identify and neutralize a fleet of drones over one of the nation’s most densely populated states.
In this era of technological advancement, where drones can be both tools of innovation and instruments of espionage or terrorism, the FBI’s current performance is not just cheekily inadequate; it’s dangerously so. The public’s trust is at stake, and so is our safety. Let’s hope the FBI can shift its gaze from the personal to the paramount, before our skies become a playground for unknown entities while our privacy becomes their playground.